Dear Extreme Home Make-Over

I just love to watch your show. I have to ghettivo it because I don’t watch tv on Sunday’s, hang-over day. But I love it! I really appreciate how you have such a diverse group of people doing such a great job to someone’s ugly home. That gay guy makes me laugh. And the girl, the pink lover, she’s great with the power tools. Oh and that guy that cries a lot. Just seeing him cry makes me cry! What powerful imagery.

Anyhoo, I was hoping to be picked for a home make-over. I know you choose families who really need a good fixing up. I feel that my home needs it bad. We just moved into it about a month ago and it already needs some work. It was built in September of 2005. That was one of the hottest summers here in Vegas!

We were doing great. We moved in, bought lots of stuff for it and we actually painted some of the rooms. But we don’t have what you call the painting skills so the trim could use some help. Also, we need help putting up a garage door opener. Well, really we need a garage door opener. We haven’t bought one yet because, well, this is embarrassing. I got laid off from my job of 1.5 years.

The lay-off has been devastating to me, my husband and my dog, Scully. She feels it the most. I’m home all day yelling at her to clean her crate, stop barking or whatever else she’s doing to stress me out. But that’s not the point.

We need help with things like hanging curtains or installing the garage door opener. We were also hoping for a projector and electronic roll-down screen for the living room. We just love watching movies and a projector would be awesome don’t you think? Also, I was hoping that Tim the host could hook me up with a killer job. You know how he’s always doing crazy stuff like that. Oh that Tim!

And our backyard could use some work. See here in Vegas, they don’t put grass in anymore. We have rocks. Scully’s feet hurt from having to walk on them to tinkle. It’s really sad. I wonder if we could maybe find her some doggie band-aids. Yeah, those would probably help some.

I do what I can with my Husbands income and the income I get from a place called Unemployment. They are so generous. But Scully was really hoping for a doggie higher education. I’m afraid it might not happen now. I guess she’s just going to have to be somewhat obedient and not super obedient. But we will love her any way she is.

So EHM-O, I think we are worthy of your help. Don’t you? And if you can squeeze it in your busy week at my house, we’d really like a ceiling fan in the master bedroom.

Thanks Tim, Gay Guy, Pink Power Tool Girl and Cry Baby!


Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *