Old People Get Confused

A few months ago we went to our neighbors for National Night Out. Our neighborhood is old and we have a lot of older residents. Not saying anything bad about them, they are good neighbors.

During the event, our Mayor came by to talk about the safety of the city and neighborhoods. We live in a very safe city, btw. Then he spoke about what to do in case of break-ins, theft, or anything where you’d need to call 911.

“Call 911 if you have any problems,” he said.

Thanks, Mayor.

Just then, an older neighbor who watches too much television said, “Do I call 411 after 911?”

I immediately started laughing…to myself.

The Mayor was thrown and said “What?”

“You know, on t.v. the cop says to call 411 after 911.”

Oh boy, he’s getting real life confused with a personal injury commercial. I’d like to see what happens if he really does call 411 after calling 911.

Not that something like this would happen in our neighborhood, but here’s how it could all go down:

Old man: (walks out to his car) “What the? HEY, someone broke into my car!”

OM: I better not touch anything in case they want to test for prints. I better go call 911.

911: 911 what is your emergency?

OM: Yes, I was on my way to the doctors office and I walked out to find that my car was broken in to!

911: Is anyone hurt?

OM: The window is all busted and glass is everywhere!

911: Sir, is anyone hurt?

OM: I think they took my dashboard compass!

911: Sir, I put in a call and a police officer will be there shortly. Is anyone hurt?

OM: No, but now I’m going to be late to the doctors office. I guess I should call them to tell them.

911: Ok, sir, I’m going to let you go. A police officer is on his way.

OM: Ok, thanks. bye

OM: Dials 411.

411: 411 Pain, how can we help you?

OM: Oh, well, my car was just broken into and I saw the cop on the commercial say to call 411 after I call 911. I spoke to 911 and they are sending a cop over.


411: Umm were you hurt?

OM: No. Someone broke into my car.

411: Yes, but if you weren’t hurt then we can’t help you.



OM: Should I call back after I get a police report? He’s on his way now.

411: No, we are personal injury lawyers. If you weren’t hurt, then there is no case.

OM: Oh. Well I got confused because the commercial said to call you after I called 911.

411: Yes, after you’ve been in an accident.

OM: I see. Ok then, thank you.

411: Yep, no problem.

See. Confusion. I wonder how many times 411 Pain gets calls like that. Lets help our older neighbors by telling them not to believe everything they see on t.v.

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