Pirates still lurk about. Did you know this? You might be sitting next to one…or 8. Pirates are scarry, usually black and generally ugly.

Actually I probably couldn’t spot a real Pirate. But I can spot nose hairs from a mile away. Ok more like 2.4 feet away.

Nose hairs resemble upside down hooks inching their way outta your nose. When I sit next to someone or talk to someone and I happen to look in that direction (well it’s hard to miss when you are talking face to face) I spot those little pirates screaming “ARRRRR pluck me!” It’s sick I know, but this is who I am.

It all started when Justin moved in with me. I would be talking to him and I’d spot his nose hairs. Since we were living together, I felt it necessary to tell him how unattractive they were. They just didn’t hang, they hooked! Ugly!

“You’ve got a hair…there”
“Where?” Feeling around with his thumb and first finger. YANK! “ARRRRR” I’m sure it was painful. It was for me to watch. I’m pretty sure I said “Arrrr” too. So that’s how it all started.

Now we just say, “I see pirates” or “PIRATES!” or “Dude, he had some crazy Pirates!” It varies. But if you hear ‘pirate’ I’m probably talking about you. Or about your pirates.


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