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Want More Money?

Seeking a new career? Be a monkey or just look like one! In just 27 sessions, we can have you idiotically, rashly, and falling like a top-paying Tivo. Opportunities in this sassy field are limitless. There is no fee! Just come in for a free consultation. Our expert jockstraps will analyze your condom and determine your potential for success in this unintelligent field. Use your natural rosebush to earn itchy money and have time to yodel your dreams, too. Just ask Sweet, who came to us looking like a dryer sheet out of feta cheese and in just ten days we improved her tape 100%. We even corrected her horrible athletes foot spray. It was just in the nick of time because the rubber Squad was ready to ban her from the crockpot. Don’t wait another day. Time is running out.

Proverbs for my Mad Lib readers:

Too many helmets spoil the oranges.
People who live in rapid homes shouldn’t throw Kleenex.
The shortest distance between two reindeer’s is a straight condom.
Love of scissors is the root of all evil.
A lazy stone gathers no rosebush.
A clock a day keeps the monkey away.
He who disrobes last humps best.
An athletes foot spray in time saves 1.
You can’t keep a luscious man down.
You can’t teach a hot jockstrap new tricks.
Life is limp, life is bulky, and the tape is not the goal.
The way to a man’s Tivo is through his crockpot.

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