A Conversation with Caribou

Me: Can I get a decaf latte with skim milk and no foam?

Caribou: That’s a decaf latte with skim milk and no foam?

Me: Yes

Caribou: Would you like a breakfast sandwich?

Me: No, but do you have any croissants?

Caribou: Um, Let me check.

Me:

Caribou: No, we’ve discontinued them.

Me: (You’re a coffee shop, why would you get rid of croissants?) Um, ok. Do you have any bagels? What are they, plain?

Caribou: Yes we have bagels. We have asiago cheese ones.

Me: I’ll take that with cream cheese.

Caribou: I’m sorry, we don’t actually carry cream cheese.

Me: (WTF!) What? You carry bagels but don’t carry cream cheese?

Caribou: Yeah, I don’t know why.

Me: Just the latte then.

(True story)

Dear Caribou,

If you want to stay a good coffee shop, don’t get rid of items that go well with coffee. You’re getting too hipster with your turkey egg-white sandwich that I’ve never seen anyone order. And don’t carry bagels if you’re not going to carry cream cheese!

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