Me: Can I get a decaf latte with skim milk and no foam?
Caribou: That’s a decaf latte with skim milk and no foam?
Me: Yes
Caribou: Would you like a breakfast sandwich?
Me: No, but do you have any croissants?
Caribou: Um, Let me check.
Me:
Caribou: No, we’ve discontinued them.
Me: (You’re a coffee shop, why would you get rid of croissants?) Um, ok. Do you have any bagels? What are they, plain?
Caribou: Yes we have bagels. We have asiago cheese ones.
Me: I’ll take that with cream cheese.
Caribou: I’m sorry, we don’t actually carry cream cheese.
Me: (WTF!) What? You carry bagels but don’t carry cream cheese?
Caribou: Yeah, I don’t know why.
Me: Just the latte then.
(True story)
Dear Caribou,
If you want to stay a good coffee shop, don’t get rid of items that go well with coffee. You’re getting too hipster with your turkey egg-white sandwich that I’ve never seen anyone order. And don’t carry bagels if you’re not going to carry cream cheese!
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