Research shows that humans like variety. But we also relish the routine. It’s sometimes good to have a regular schedule so we can “get into a groove.” This goes for children and adults alike. While I enjoy the occasional personal day off, sometimes I wish I could just escape the constant barrage of wind chill, blizzards, partially recognized holidays, influenza, and streptococcus that this season has wrought upon us.
Sometimes I just want a normal 5 day work week (or two) to get s#*t done.
Chris Rock, as the illustrious SNL character “Nat X,” once hilariously shamed The Man for his assignment of February as Black History Month:
I just want to say that February is Black History Month. Isn’t that nice? The Man gives us February because it’s the shortest month of the year! Now, I’m not complaining, but I think we deserve at least a thirty-day month.
But instead of looking for a better, longer black history month, let’s instead normalize the months. Introducing the Stevadorian Calendar!
Forced upgrades and planned obsolescence – almost all companies do it, but Apple has really advanced it from a science to an art form. I was holding onto iOS5 with my cold, Minnesota frost-bitten hands because I liked Google Maps as the default mapping app – you know, one that will actually deliver correct directions. But there were a couple of apps I wanted to install that required iOS6. Too bad I waited too long, once iOS7 was released, upgrading to iOS6 was no longer possible. At one point, iOS6 users were automatically upgraded to iOS7 “over the air” – meaning it happened automatically without user approval or intervention. Then there was a lawsuit which quickly stopped OTA updates. None-the-less, iOS6 is a memory, and while I thought I would only have to deal with Apple Maps and iOS7 generally grinding my “old” iPhone to a halt, it turns out there are many more bugs to be discovered.
Mid-December I started to get a tickle in my throat. I knew the score. I only get sick about once a year, and this was going to be it. I took some precautionary measures – homeopathic meds that included vitamin C and zinc. I worked half days. Then it came on strong. With a fever of 102 I decided it was time to visit the doctor to see what I had gotten myself into.
Influenza A – the “bad” flu. Its subtypes include all these terrible sounding viruses: Swine Flu, Bird Flu, and H1N1. The doctor informed me that I was the first recorded case of the season at the clinic. Patient Zero.
My favorite age for babies is 3-9 months. They can’t yet walk, so they’ll really only get into trouble with things in an arm’s reach. They (hopefully) sleep through the night. They can hold their head up, so I feel more comfortable man-handling them during diaper changes and play time. 3 months has also been the magic marker when my wife goes back to work. So whether I want to or not, that baby is going to be in my hands quite a bit more now.
Many have asked me how I get work done at home with the baby at home with me. For my part, I only work part-time. It would be near impossible to work a 40 hour week with a baby at home and still maintain a relationship with my wife.
For the baby’s end of the bargain, the key is sleep.
