Barenaked Ladies–Men

Don’t get the wrong idea here. This isn’t a post on naked ladies. Sorry my male readers, maybe one day. I’d like to introduce you to my friends, The Barenaked Ladies (again, myspace helped our friendship grow). They aren’t new and I’m sure most of you have heard atleast one of their songs. One Week, Another Postcard and It’s All Been Done (a-woo-hoo-hoo). But they have some other songs that the radio doesn’t even consider. Maybe it’s because they are Canadian. Well that can’t be right because Bryan Adams is on the radio (except he sucks).

It’s too bad that BNL’s song don’t do well in mainstream. It seems that they get one, maybe two songs off of a new album played and then that’s the end of it. But let me assure you, that’s not the end of their great music.

Let me start with the first album I got, Stunt. The year was 1998 and I had just got back from Drum Corps. One Week just came out and everyone was talking about the crazy “chicky-china” lyrics. So I had to buy the album to find out what that was all about. I was very happy with my purchase because the rest of the album was just as original as “chicky-china” lyrics. With songs like Alcohol, In the Car and Who Needs Sleep,I’d never heard lyrics and stories like this in a musical format. I Loved it!

“Alcohol, my permanent accessory
Alcohol, a party time necessity
Alcohol, alternative to feeling like yourself
O Alcohol, I still drink to your health.”

The second album was of course the next one in line, Maroon. Not to be confused with Maroon 5. Those Canadian’s can sure sings some crazy songs. I loved the Conventioneers. It’s a typical love story, boy meets girl (at work), they play scrabble, they do it, now work is akward. Oh so tender!

Since they had been around for a while and had many songs, they decided to do a greatest hits. It was a new cd for me. I only owned 2 of their albums and they had 3 prior to that. So it made sense for me to get the greatest hits. And now I love those songs too. So having an account on will help when I finally pick up those 3 cd’s.

Next it was a few years before Everything to Everyone came out. I had basically scratched my two cd’s from playing them so much. I had to replace them! But this album made the wait worth it. You’ve got to give a band credit when they can sing a song about shopping. SHOPPING!

“Well you know that it’s going to be alright
I think it’s gonna be alright
Everything will always be alright
When we go shopping.”

See they do understand the importance of shopping. Everything will be alright.

“So shutup
And never stop
Let’s shop
Until we drop”

Now you want to listen to it huh? It’s a good album, trust me.

And if you aren’t into some of these songs that I mentioned, don’t worry they tackle the important stuff like falling asleep at the wheel, one million dollars (if I had a million dollars….I’d stop working) and the war on drugs.

So you get it all with the Barenaked Ladies. Oh and the song Alcohol is fun to sing it drunk at a karaoke bar.

Business Cards Beware

You know you’ve done it. At your favorite Mexican restaurant, sandwich shop, even at the movie theater. You drop your business card into the fish bowl hoping to win that free beaner, turkey sandwich or that matinee. But months go by with no word. You can’t understand why, they have your phone number even your e-mail address. But you just have to keep paying for that beaner.

Then one day, you get a call. You’re a little thrown off by it. “How did you get my name and number?” Then it hits you. You’ll never win that turkey sandwich but you just won yourself a recruiter call! Who’s the big winner here? You are with a potentially great job from Citigroup! Oh thank heaven they called me at work asking me if I was looking for something in the management field at one of their many new locations. Because you know, I’m a video designer (it says so on my business card) and sales is pretty close to what I’m doing now. I’m not entirely sure if Adan Saldana, 672-0645, knew what a video designer was, but I’m sure it meant that I was management material.

Yes, I’m bossy and I enjoy being in control of directionless people, but not at this stage in my career. Give me another year. He told me that his associate, Leo Gilaine, gave him my card. Leo knows a lot of people. I don’t know Leo and it’s not possible that I would know Leo. I only give my business cards out to some friends and family. I have a box of 500 cards. What else is a video designer supposed to do with them? “Here’s my business card Grandma, if you ever need help with something.” Um, my grandma doesn’t even know how to turn on the computer. So helping her ‘video design’ isn’t going to happen.

But Leo knew that I was smart and bright. Of course I am! He wrote that on the back of my business card, according to Adan. Flattered, I took his name and number and told him that “I’m confused” and offered to call him back later. I think I’ll call him back demanding my free beaner. Actually, it was a sub.

Sidenote: This call did happen at work. Adan made sure he said my name numerous times, like a good sales person does (except it’s not Fo-eell, Adan). And it took some freaking out time after the call to realize that Jimmy John’s Sandwich Shop was the culprit. The one and only time I dropped my card in for a free yummy club lulu, I got this call. So please, keep those cards to yourself. Or at least your friends and family.

Marathon oh Marathon

Why are you hard? The training that is. Why is it so hard? I guess if it was easy, then everyone would do it and if that was true, then what would make me special and different?

It’s been many months since I started this crazed asphalt adventure. It’s not like going on vacation and seeing cool things. It’s more of a physical adventure. I was in something just as crazy as this (drum corps) but I did get to see cool places like Sandusky, Ohio and Winston-Salem, North Carolina. Now there’s a place to vacation at if you like bugs and humidity!

But with marathon training, I see roads with lots of cars honking at me to either get off the road or to encourage me. I like to think that they are encouraging me with their horn, it’s so friendly and non-aggressive. If they knew the difference between pavement and asphalt for runners, then maybe they could share the road a little bit more. They don’t care about my shin-splints. Bad non-runners!

I’ve had a problems with my long runs. I won’t go into details. I’m sure you don’t want to know about gastrointestinal issues or my big toe just covered in popped blisters or so much sweat on my face that it looks like powered sugar. Scully likes to lick it off so that problem is taken care of. But as the long runs get longer, I find ways around these little problems. Thanks again Scully.

And as the time winds down, about 8 weeks until the big race, I find myself saying “15 miles… no problem.” (insert your ‘crazies’here) I’m finding that a full 26.2 miles is a little obsessive. But we will see how I do at the finish line. I might need a wheel chair and a ride home (oh and a gatorade).

So for those of you coming out and supporting me by giving me water/gatorade at mile marker 18-26, I thank you. And for those of you driving, just let me run and keep your horn comments to yourself.

Come out and volunteer. You can sign up at the Las Vegas Marathon
I’ll be looking for you at miles 18-26 with my gatorade.

Get in the Zone

AutoZone that is. I recently found out the discrimination that men feel at Victoria’s Secret while at AutoZone.

Hold on here, men aren’t discriminated at VS, they are eagerly helped by associates wearing all black with a tape measure around their necks (ya, I think of all black when I walk into VS, why aren’t they wearing pink?). All they have to do is walk around touching every bra in sight with a expression that resembles me looking at oil filters. I don’t know the difference between oil filter sizes. Just like men don’t know the difference in cup sizes. But the lovely ladies of VS love men that come in and need their help. They understand the importance of men buying the ‘demi bra’ and ‘seamless panties’ for their lady at home. Not so over at the Zone. Well the bra and panties part. Oil filters and bug wash.

One of the last things that left our apartment in our move was a very full oil pan. The option was to either take that to AutoZone to drain, or take our used goods to the Deseret Industries (the Mormon version of The Salvation Army). I chose AutoZone because someone could come out and drain it for me. It’s oil! I don’t want to spill that all over me. It could happen especially since I was wearing a cream colored top. I wasn’t going to risk it.

I walked in and saw a man helping someone. So I waited. AutoZone has a weird set-up. They have the actual counter that takes your money for oil filters in the front of the store. I had nothing to buy so that wasn’t the line I was heading for. I went for the counter that the men just chit chat at. But there was only one guy there and he was busy. I was the only girl in the whole store and yet, workers walked right by and ignored me. I was looking at them as they passed me. I made it very obvious.

They wear black too, what a coincidence.

The guy that was busy was now busy over at the check-out counter so I stood in line, waiting for him. If he was my only option, I’ll take it. I still looked around and finally made eye contact with a new guy behind the ‘chit chat’ counter. He asked if I needed help. Duh, I had nothing in my hands and a blank, frustrated stare on my face, of course I needed help!

So he helped me. I got my oil pan drained (gross) and I left feeling that using my cuteness and charm got me now where at the Zone. Sorry ladies if I just ruined it for those of you who walk in with your own oil pans and drain it yourself. I just couldn’t. My cream colored top wouldn’t allow it.

Next time Justin can go to the Zone and head to VS for a nice new ‘demi bra’ for me. He’ll be well taken care of at both places. Hope he remembers what cup size I am.

The Hazzards

I’m not the first to talk about this group, but I feel if you haven’t heard of them, I should tell you. The Hazzards are a 2 girl ukulele group that have such great songs like Gay Boyfriend and Just a Temp. “Keep your business in your slacks, I am just a temp.” With their cuteness and clever lyrics, this group is just fun to listen to while your painting your new bedroom. “What are you singing?” “The Hazzards’ Shut Up and Make Out!”

Well I have to say that I have a personal relationship with The Hazzards. You could say I’m their friend–their Myspace friend. When I found them, I had only heard Gay Boyfriend and thought “Who is this group singing about Gay Boyfriends? Who has a boyfriend that is gay?” Maybe I shouldn’t be asking that question. Anyway, I got a friend request from them and I was so excited. They wanted to be my friend. I thought “Wow, they found me because I’m cool! Way to go!” But then as Myspace does, it messed up all my friend requests and I had to ask them if they still wanted me as their friend. Wow, friendship on Myspace is so hard. The good news is they did, so here I am, telling you about my friends, The Hazzards.

I bought their cd with all 5 of their songs and was so excited to see it in the mail yesterday! Except the case was cracked. (can I get a new one The Hazzards?) But I’m happy listening to Girl Beer, Just a Temp, SexySpirit4U, Shut Up and Make Out, Gay Boyfriend and The Business. Even if the case is cracked.

So if your in the mood for new music that isn’t mainstream, check out The Hazzards. “Will you sign my timesheet, I am just a temp.”

Gold Pant or No Pants

I get a lot of e-mails at work that are jokes, little movies or photos. Anything that is humorous or meaningful or whatever you’re feeling that day.

A while back, a co-worker sent a link for this video called Gem Sweater. This one is probably the best of all 3 of her music videos. Gem Sweater is a song this girl and her friends sing. Her whole theme is gem sweaters. The video is original, has a simple set with simple dance moves. Overall it looks good. You’ve gotta listen to the lyrics too. She’ll make you want more. A side note: I’m not saying she only has 3 videos or even that this is the order of release. I’m just saying what I found first.

The second video I found of her collection was Beat Dazzler. The video is just as homemade as the first, but this one shows it more. If I was on the street and I saw this, I’d probably laugh as hard as I did when I heard the lyrics, not laugh at the video. Yes, the video is funny in parts, but I really like her lyrics. They are original and they crack me up. “Hey hoochie mamma, gold pants forever.” See, what a poet.

Her third video Gold Pants, wasn’t very good. If the ranking was 1-3, 3 being the lowest, Gold Pants gets a 3. Again, I like the lyrics and love the gold suit. I’d be thanking my mamma for making me gold pants too.

And if you can’t get enough of this, she (the lead singer, Leslie) has a website of all her ugliest (well I think they are ugly) Gem Sweaters. Take a look, you might have one in the back of your closet. You can send it to her! Atleast someone will wear it.

This one is one of my favorites. So classic.

Pleased to Meet You Mr. Sedaris

When I like something, I get obsessed over it. For example, when “Fargo” came out, I watched it as many times as possible, I still do. I did research online about the story to see if it was really true. Apparently it wasn’t. Those Coen brothers are genius’ for telling me it was true, for letting me believe it was, then letting me down years later when it wasn’t. Way to be creative.

Movies, television shows, books and people, if you intrigue me, you get my full attention. When the movie “Evita” came out, I had been eagerly awaiting it. I had the Broadway musical album it so of course I knew the entire story. I would read my very outdated Encyclopedia about Eva Perron (this was before the internet and ‘google’ searches). She had been dead for about 30 years when it was printed, so I figured it was accurate. But I did more and more research when the movie came out. The movie was beautiful but disappointing. Oh well.

Natalie Wood is one of my favorite reads. I was introduced to her in 1993 in theater class. We watched “West Side Story” and it became one of my favorite musicals to this day. So naturally, I went to the library to read everything about Natalie Wood. I saw some more of her movies–some good, some bad. I learned about her water phobia which eventually took her life. How ironic.

When she was young, she was filming a movie and she had to walk across a bridge during a simulated rain storm. The bridge was to fall after she walked across, but some doe-head let it go before she got across it. She fell into the water and damaged her wrist. So from that day, she never went anywhere without a bracelet covering the damage. See, it’s not all about drugs and madness!

My favorite author is David Sedaris. One night I was watching Letterman and one of his guests was David. I had never heard of him but he looked funny and read a pretty funny story called “Stadium Pal.” He was explaining how lopsided accessories are for women and men. Women have bracelets, necklaces and belts, things like that. Men usually only have a few accessories. So he thought that men should have something to help them out while at a sporting event, watching TV or whatever they could be doing. I won’t tell you what it is. Google him and read it for yourself. It’s creative and funny.

My obsessive hunt began after his appearance. I only remembered his first name and the name of his book. Justin would recall his last name occasionally. I walked into every bookstore and looked for a comedic writer named David something with a new book called “Naked.” That was a hard search. But then one day we were out shopping and we stopped into a bookstore. I was still on the hunt for him and Justin finally remembered his last name “Sedaris.” A-ha! It’s pretty easy when you have that kind of information. So I bought the book and couldn’t put it down!

I was in school still so I didn’t have to get up early like my loving husband. So I would read and laugh so hard that he would wake up and say “GO TO BED!” Then I would just have to tell him about David’s sister laying in the street trying to get run over by a car so their mom would let them back in the house. But he didn’t see how it was funny.

David had more books prior to “Naked’s” release. I eventually bought all of those too. Justin even took me to see him in Ogden, Utah. He was reading stories that were going to be in his new book “Dress Your Family in Corduroy and Denim.” We had pretty good seats and I thought it was even funnier when he read them to you. Afterwards, I bought another book and had him sign it. But he really didn’t notice me, he’s was more interested in my husband. “Have we met before?” he asked my husband. “Umm, not unless you’ve been in Salt Lake before.” So they chatted for a while, well maybe David flirted and Justin chatted. I knew it was flirting, but Justin didn’t believe me. I opened my book and it read “Dear Jessi, thanks for making me rich. David Sedaris.” So I’m making you rich and you like my husband. I think I should get a chapter in his next book.

So a year later his new book was released. I got it for Christmas. And he came to Las Vegas a few months ago to do some more readings and signing’s. If you have a chance, go and hear him tell tales of his North Carolina/New York family. You will think your family is nothing compared to his. I brought along my book for him to sign and again, brought my husband. I reminded him of our first meeting with David and how David really liked Justin, even thought I was the fan. Justin has never even read one of his books!

It was our turn to meet him and get my new book signed. And again, David reached out for Justin’s hand and said, “Hey speedracer!” (Justin was wearing a speed racer shirt) “You look familiar.” Justin replied,”Ya we met about 2 years ago in Ogden, Utah.” David went on to explain to Justin how he tanked at that show. But we both reassured him that we thought he was great. This time he was much more sincere with his message:”Dear Jessi, it was so nice to see you again. David Sedaris”

I could be wrong, but I think he might have been hitting on my husband again. This could be possible since Justin is very handsome and well, hot. I can see how David Sedaris couldn’t resist talking to him. As long as he keeps writing, I’ll keep bringing my husband along. Hey, if it gets my booked signed, I’m all for it! I hope Justin is too. But I’m still waiting for the chapter.

Maybe this plug will get me a chapter…probably not. But enjoy anyway!

David Sedaris

The Leaky Blog

My friend Tony sent me the link for the new trailor of “Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire.” I’m excited because I really like the story. I wish I could have gone to a Wizarding school instead of my High School. They didn’t offer a potions class, I got chemistry. I went to history class instead of spells and devination. I was in the band but I would have dropped that as soon as I heard there might be a quidditch team or atleast learned how to ride a broom. See, wouldn’t High School have been much more fun to go to? No parents, just friends that you roomed with.

So to keep the story fresh, I only read a book right before the movie comes out. I’m in the middle of the 4th one. I know I’ll be done with it by November when it comes to the big screen. I don’t compare movies to books. That’s a waste of time. I just like to see how it comes out in the movie–how things look and feel.

We all know that the 6th book was released a few months ago. Crazed fans were lined up before midnight to get this book. Didn’t these kids have school in the morning? Geez, my parents would have never let me do that! So I’ve tried to stay away from people who have read it. I want to find out myself when the time comes what happened that year at Hogwarts.

Today, I went to visit my friend, John’s blog(the geeeek link on the right). The first post talks about the new movie coming out AND some information giving away the 6th book! (don’t go to that link if you don’t want to know) I don’t blame him because it’s his blog (I’m not blaming you Hawkins). Actually I’m not blaming anyone. No blame here. I just didn’t try hard enough to stay away from 6th book readers. I didn’t know he’d read it. If so, I probably wouldn’t have gone to his blog for like another 3 years or until the 6th book was made into a movie, which ever came first. But I did read his blog so it’s my fault (ok, there’s the blame).

I guess it was bound to happen. With so many fans like me, I’m not crazy though, I’m sure there is information all across the internet about it. But I’m not about to give up the internet, that would be going too far! So I’ll just take my information and just be prepared when I read it. Now when are they starting on book 5?