{"id":2065,"date":"2015-08-17T10:00:49","date_gmt":"2015-08-17T15:00:49","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.foell.org\/justin\/?p=2065"},"modified":"2015-08-17T10:35:39","modified_gmt":"2015-08-17T15:35:39","slug":"the-drunken-2-year-old","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.foell.org\/justin\/the-drunken-2-year-old\/","title":{"rendered":"The drunken 2-year-old"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>No I haven&#8217;t been giving my 2-year-old wine, scotch, or beer. The point is, I don&#8217;t have to. She acts like a drunk 24\/7. If you don&#8217;t believe me, I present for your amusement, the ways a 2-year-old is like a drunk&#8230;<\/p>\n<p>They&#8217;re easily incited. If a chant is started, they&#8217;ll quickly join in, whether or not the chant goal meets their needs, they just want to join in the fun.<\/p>\n<p><span class=\"embed-youtube\" style=\"text-align:center; display: block;\"><iframe loading=\"lazy\" class=\"youtube-player\" width=\"770\" height=\"434\" src=\"https:\/\/www.youtube.com\/embed\/18eaNSxhK5c?version=3&#038;rel=1&#038;showsearch=0&#038;showinfo=1&#038;iv_load_policy=1&#038;fs=1&#038;hl=en-US&#038;autohide=2&#038;start=138&#038;wmode=transparent\" allowfullscreen=\"true\" style=\"border:0;\" sandbox=\"allow-scripts allow-same-origin allow-popups allow-presentation allow-popups-to-escape-sandbox\"><\/iframe><\/span><br \/>\n<!--more--><br \/>\nThey slur their speech. New parents and greek house members quickly catch on to <em>drunk-ese<\/em> and can translate for those who are otherwise intelligently sober.<\/p>\n<p>They will repeat themselves ad nauseum. You will likely have to verbally acknowledge what they&#8217;re saying or simply tell them to be quiet to get them to stop.<\/p>\n<p><iframe loading=\"lazy\" src=\"https:\/\/screen.yahoo.com\/drunk-girl-holiday-advice-000000076.html?format=embed\" width=\"640\" height=\"360\" frameborder=\"0\" scrolling=\"no\" allowfullscreen=\"allowfullscreen\"><\/iframe><\/p>\n<p>They&#8217;re riding an emotional roller-coaster. One moment it&#8217;s hysterical laughter, the next moment they&#8217;re crying uncontrollably. Your particular drunk (or 2-year-old) may have a propensity for anger and violence. Steer clear or you might get hit, slapped, punched, kicked, or bitten.<\/p>\n<p><a class=\"thickbox\" href=\"https:\/\/www.foell.org\/justin\/files\/2015\/08\/marlo_tantrum.jpg\" rel=\"gallery-2065\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" data-attachment-id=\"2072\" data-permalink=\"https:\/\/www.foell.org\/justin\/the-drunken-2-year-old\/marlo_tantrum\/\" data-orig-file=\"https:\/\/www.foell.org\/justin\/files\/2015\/08\/marlo_tantrum.jpg\" data-orig-size=\"2448,3264\" data-comments-opened=\"1\" data-image-meta=\"{&quot;aperture&quot;:&quot;0&quot;,&quot;credit&quot;:&quot;&quot;,&quot;camera&quot;:&quot;&quot;,&quot;caption&quot;:&quot;&quot;,&quot;created_timestamp&quot;:&quot;0&quot;,&quot;copyright&quot;:&quot;&quot;,&quot;focal_length&quot;:&quot;0&quot;,&quot;iso&quot;:&quot;0&quot;,&quot;shutter_speed&quot;:&quot;0&quot;,&quot;title&quot;:&quot;&quot;,&quot;orientation&quot;:&quot;0&quot;}\" data-image-title=\"marlo_tantrum\" data-image-description=\"\" data-image-caption=\"\" data-large-file=\"https:\/\/www.foell.org\/justin\/files\/2015\/08\/marlo_tantrum-768x1024.jpg\" class=\"alignnone size-large wp-image-2072\" src=\"https:\/\/www.foell.org\/justin\/files\/2015\/08\/marlo_tantrum-768x1024.jpg\" alt=\"marlo_tantrum\" width=\"768\" height=\"1024\" srcset=\"https:\/\/www.foell.org\/justin\/files\/2015\/08\/marlo_tantrum-768x1024.jpg 768w, https:\/\/www.foell.org\/justin\/files\/2015\/08\/marlo_tantrum-225x300.jpg 225w\" sizes=\"auto, (max-width: 768px) 100vw, 768px\" \/><\/a><\/p>\n<p>They think they can dance. This is the single most entertaining thing about drunks and 2-year-olds. I could watch a toddler dance all day long. I myself have thought I could dance on occasion while inebriated. I&#8217;m sure the others around me were both embarrassed and delighted by the spectacle.<\/p>\n<figure id=\"attachment_2067\" class=\"wp-caption thumbnail alignnone\" style=\"width: 335px;\">\n\t\t\t\t<a class=\"thickbox\" rel=\"gallery-2065\" href=\"https:\/\/www.foell.org\/justin\/files\/2015\/08\/beer-helping-white-guys-dance-funny-retro-poster.jpg\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" data-attachment-id=\"2067\" data-permalink=\"https:\/\/www.foell.org\/justin\/the-drunken-2-year-old\/beer-helping-white-guys-dance-funny-retro-poster\/\" data-orig-file=\"https:\/\/www.foell.org\/justin\/files\/2015\/08\/beer-helping-white-guys-dance-funny-retro-poster.jpg\" data-orig-size=\"335,488\" data-comments-opened=\"1\" data-image-meta=\"{&quot;aperture&quot;:&quot;0&quot;,&quot;credit&quot;:&quot;&quot;,&quot;camera&quot;:&quot;&quot;,&quot;caption&quot;:&quot;&quot;,&quot;created_timestamp&quot;:&quot;0&quot;,&quot;copyright&quot;:&quot;&quot;,&quot;focal_length&quot;:&quot;0&quot;,&quot;iso&quot;:&quot;0&quot;,&quot;shutter_speed&quot;:&quot;0&quot;,&quot;title&quot;:&quot;&quot;,&quot;orientation&quot;:&quot;0&quot;}\" data-image-title=\"beer-helping-white-guys-dance-funny-retro-poster\" data-image-description=\"\" data-image-caption=\"\" data-large-file=\"https:\/\/www.foell.org\/justin\/files\/2015\/08\/beer-helping-white-guys-dance-funny-retro-poster.jpg\" class=\"wp-image-2067 size-full\" src=\"https:\/\/www.foell.org\/justin\/files\/2015\/08\/beer-helping-white-guys-dance-funny-retro-poster.jpg\" alt=\"beer-helping-white-guys-dance-funny-retro-poster\" width=\"335\" height=\"488\" srcset=\"https:\/\/www.foell.org\/justin\/files\/2015\/08\/beer-helping-white-guys-dance-funny-retro-poster.jpg 335w, https:\/\/www.foell.org\/justin\/files\/2015\/08\/beer-helping-white-guys-dance-funny-retro-poster-206x300.jpg 206w\" sizes=\"auto, (max-width: 335px) 100vw, 335px\" \/><\/a>\n\t\t\t\t<figcaption class=\"wp-caption-text\">Image Source: <a href=\"http:\/\/www.allposters.com\/-sp\/Beer-Helping-White-Guys-Dance-Funny-Retro-Poster-Posters_i8837487_.htm\">AllPosters.com<\/a><\/figcaption>\n\t\t\t<\/figure>\n<p>It&#8217;s just a matter of time before they&#8217;ll fall down. I actually like to play a game when I see a toddler running. I simply count. I keep counting until they fall down. It&#8217;s usually not more than 60 seconds. 30 seconds is a good run, but sooner or later they&#8217;ll hit the pavement. Drunks aren&#8217;t much different but they have a greater mastery of the &#8216;wobble.&#8217; They&#8217;ll use whatever is at their disposal: walls, sign-posts, furniture, other people &#8211; to stay upright.<\/p>\n<p>It&#8217;s also just a matter of time before they pee themselves.<\/p>\n<p><a class=\"thickbox\" href=\"https:\/\/www.foell.org\/justin\/files\/2015\/08\/pics_girl-too-drunk.jpg\" rel=\"gallery-2065\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" data-attachment-id=\"2069\" data-permalink=\"https:\/\/www.foell.org\/justin\/the-drunken-2-year-old\/pics_girl-too-drunk\/\" data-orig-file=\"https:\/\/www.foell.org\/justin\/files\/2015\/08\/pics_girl-too-drunk.jpg\" data-orig-size=\"400,240\" data-comments-opened=\"1\" data-image-meta=\"{&quot;aperture&quot;:&quot;0&quot;,&quot;credit&quot;:&quot;&quot;,&quot;camera&quot;:&quot;&quot;,&quot;caption&quot;:&quot;&quot;,&quot;created_timestamp&quot;:&quot;0&quot;,&quot;copyright&quot;:&quot;&quot;,&quot;focal_length&quot;:&quot;0&quot;,&quot;iso&quot;:&quot;0&quot;,&quot;shutter_speed&quot;:&quot;0&quot;,&quot;title&quot;:&quot;&quot;,&quot;orientation&quot;:&quot;1&quot;}\" data-image-title=\"pics_girl-too-drunk\" data-image-description=\"\" data-image-caption=\"\" data-large-file=\"https:\/\/www.foell.org\/justin\/files\/2015\/08\/pics_girl-too-drunk.jpg\" class=\"alignnone size-full wp-image-2069\" src=\"https:\/\/www.foell.org\/justin\/files\/2015\/08\/pics_girl-too-drunk.jpg\" alt=\"pics_girl-too-drunk\" width=\"400\" height=\"240\" srcset=\"https:\/\/www.foell.org\/justin\/files\/2015\/08\/pics_girl-too-drunk.jpg 400w, https:\/\/www.foell.org\/justin\/files\/2015\/08\/pics_girl-too-drunk-300x180.jpg 300w\" sizes=\"auto, (max-width: 400px) 100vw, 400px\" \/><\/a><\/p>\n<p>Be safe when you&#8217;re drinking folks and take care of yo&#8217; babies!<\/p>\n<div class='kindleWidget kindleLight' ><img decoding=\"async\" src=\"https:\/\/www.foell.org\/justin\/wp-content\/plugins\/send-to-kindle\/media\/white-15.png\" \/><span>Send to Kindle<\/span><\/div>","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>No I haven&#8217;t been giving my 2-year-old wine, scotch, or beer. The point is, I don&#8217;t have to. She acts like a drunk 24\/7. If you don&#8217;t believe me, I present for your amusement, the ways a 2-year-old is like a drunk&#8230; They&#8217;re easily incited. If a chant is started, they&#8217;ll quickly join in, whether&hellip; <a href=\"https:\/\/www.foell.org\/justin\/the-drunken-2-year-old\/\">Continue reading <span class=\"meta-nav\">&rarr;<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"om_disable_all_campaigns":false,"_monsterinsights_skip_tracking":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_active":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_note":"","_monsterinsights_sitenote_category":0,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_feature_clip_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"My drunken 2-year-old","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":true,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2},"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false},"categories":[3,115],"tags":[37,110],"class_list":["post-2065","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-casual","category-fatherhood","tag-beer","tag-kids"],"aioseo_notices":[],"aioseo_head":"\n\t\t<!-- All in One SEO 4.9.10 - aioseo.com -->\n\t<meta name=\"description\" content=\"No I haven&#039;t been giving my 2-year-old wine, scotch, or beer. The point is, I don&#039;t have to. She acts like a drunk 24\/7. If you don&#039;t believe me, I present for your amusement, the ways a 2-year-old is like a drunk... They&#039;re easily incited. If a chant is started, they&#039;ll quickly join in, whether\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"max-image-preview:large\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"author\" content=\"Justin\"\/>\n\t<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/www.foell.org\/justin\/the-drunken-2-year-old\/\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"generator\" content=\"All in One SEO (AIOSEO) 4.9.10\" \/>\n\t\t<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n\t\t<meta property=\"og:site_name\" content=\"Justin Foell - Technology, Bicycling, Hobbies, Kids, Life.\" \/>\n\t\t<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n\t\t<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"The drunken 2-year-old - Justin Foell\" \/>\n\t\t<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"No I haven&#039;t been giving my 2-year-old wine, scotch, or beer. The point is, I don&#039;t have to. She acts like a drunk 24\/7. If you don&#039;t believe me, I present for your amusement, the ways a 2-year-old is like a drunk... They&#039;re easily incited. If a chant is started, they&#039;ll quickly join in, whether\" \/>\n\t\t<meta property=\"og:url\" content=\"https:\/\/www.foell.org\/justin\/the-drunken-2-year-old\/\" \/>\n\t\t<meta property=\"article:published_time\" content=\"2015-08-17T15:00:49+00:00\" \/>\n\t\t<meta property=\"article:modified_time\" content=\"2015-08-17T15:35:39+00:00\" \/>\n\t\t<meta name=\"twitter:card\" content=\"summary_large_image\" \/>\n\t\t<meta name=\"twitter:title\" content=\"The drunken 2-year-old - Justin Foell\" \/>\n\t\t<meta name=\"twitter:description\" content=\"No I haven&#039;t been giving my 2-year-old wine, scotch, or beer. The point is, I don&#039;t have to. She acts like a drunk 24\/7. If you don&#039;t believe me, I present for your amusement, the ways a 2-year-old is like a drunk... They&#039;re easily incited. If a chant is started, they&#039;ll quickly join in, whether\" \/>\n\t\t<script type=\"application\/ld+json\" class=\"aioseo-schema\">\n\t\t\t{\"@context\":\"https:\\\/\\\/schema.org\",\"@graph\":[{\"@type\":\"BlogPosting\",\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/www.foell.org\\\/justin\\\/the-drunken-2-year-old\\\/#blogposting\",\"name\":\"The drunken 2-year-old - Justin Foell\",\"headline\":\"The drunken 2-year-old\",\"author\":{\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/www.foell.org\\\/justin\\\/author\\\/justin\\\/#author\"},\"publisher\":{\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/www.foell.org\\\/justin\\\/#organization\"},\"image\":{\"@type\":\"ImageObject\",\"url\":\"https:\\\/\\\/www.foell.org\\\/justin\\\/files\\\/2015\\\/08\\\/marlo_tantrum.jpg\",\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/www.foell.org\\\/justin\\\/the-drunken-2-year-old\\\/#articleImage\",\"width\":2448,\"height\":3264},\"datePublished\":\"2015-08-17T10:00:49-05:00\",\"dateModified\":\"2015-08-17T10:35:39-05:00\",\"inLanguage\":\"en-US\",\"mainEntityOfPage\":{\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/www.foell.org\\\/justin\\\/the-drunken-2-year-old\\\/#webpage\"},\"isPartOf\":{\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/www.foell.org\\\/justin\\\/the-drunken-2-year-old\\\/#webpage\"},\"articleSection\":\"Casual, Fatherhood, beer, kids\"},{\"@type\":\"BreadcrumbList\",\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/www.foell.org\\\/justin\\\/the-drunken-2-year-old\\\/#breadcrumblist\",\"itemListElement\":[{\"@type\":\"ListItem\",\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/www.foell.org\\\/justin#listItem\",\"position\":1,\"name\":\"Home\",\"item\":\"https:\\\/\\\/www.foell.org\\\/justin\",\"nextItem\":{\"@type\":\"ListItem\",\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/www.foell.org\\\/justin\\\/category\\\/casual\\\/#listItem\",\"name\":\"Casual\"}},{\"@type\":\"ListItem\",\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/www.foell.org\\\/justin\\\/category\\\/casual\\\/#listItem\",\"position\":2,\"name\":\"Casual\",\"item\":\"https:\\\/\\\/www.foell.org\\\/justin\\\/category\\\/casual\\\/\",\"nextItem\":{\"@type\":\"ListItem\",\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/www.foell.org\\\/justin\\\/category\\\/casual\\\/fatherhood\\\/#listItem\",\"name\":\"Fatherhood\"},\"previousItem\":{\"@type\":\"ListItem\",\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/www.foell.org\\\/justin#listItem\",\"name\":\"Home\"}},{\"@type\":\"ListItem\",\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/www.foell.org\\\/justin\\\/category\\\/casual\\\/fatherhood\\\/#listItem\",\"position\":3,\"name\":\"Fatherhood\",\"item\":\"https:\\\/\\\/www.foell.org\\\/justin\\\/category\\\/casual\\\/fatherhood\\\/\",\"nextItem\":{\"@type\":\"ListItem\",\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/www.foell.org\\\/justin\\\/the-drunken-2-year-old\\\/#listItem\",\"name\":\"The drunken 2-year-old\"},\"previousItem\":{\"@type\":\"ListItem\",\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/www.foell.org\\\/justin\\\/category\\\/casual\\\/#listItem\",\"name\":\"Casual\"}},{\"@type\":\"ListItem\",\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/www.foell.org\\\/justin\\\/the-drunken-2-year-old\\\/#listItem\",\"position\":4,\"name\":\"The drunken 2-year-old\",\"previousItem\":{\"@type\":\"ListItem\",\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/www.foell.org\\\/justin\\\/category\\\/casual\\\/fatherhood\\\/#listItem\",\"name\":\"Fatherhood\"}}]},{\"@type\":\"Organization\",\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/www.foell.org\\\/justin\\\/#organization\",\"name\":\"Justin Foell\",\"description\":\"Technology, Bicycling, Hobbies, Kids, Life.\",\"url\":\"https:\\\/\\\/www.foell.org\\\/justin\\\/\"},{\"@type\":\"Person\",\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/www.foell.org\\\/justin\\\/author\\\/justin\\\/#author\",\"url\":\"https:\\\/\\\/www.foell.org\\\/justin\\\/author\\\/justin\\\/\",\"name\":\"Justin\",\"image\":{\"@type\":\"ImageObject\",\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/www.foell.org\\\/justin\\\/the-drunken-2-year-old\\\/#authorImage\",\"url\":\"https:\\\/\\\/secure.gravatar.com\\\/avatar\\\/946a5f509120117c629b5c8f22c3d50499ca6f07dcd771c787065f3871a63651?s=96&d=blank&r=pg\",\"width\":96,\"height\":96,\"caption\":\"Justin\"}},{\"@type\":\"WebPage\",\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/www.foell.org\\\/justin\\\/the-drunken-2-year-old\\\/#webpage\",\"url\":\"https:\\\/\\\/www.foell.org\\\/justin\\\/the-drunken-2-year-old\\\/\",\"name\":\"The drunken 2-year-old - Justin Foell\",\"description\":\"No I haven't been giving my 2-year-old wine, scotch, or beer. The point is, I don't have to. She acts like a drunk 24\\\/7. If you don't believe me, I present for your amusement, the ways a 2-year-old is like a drunk... They're easily incited. If a chant is started, they'll quickly join in, whether\",\"inLanguage\":\"en-US\",\"isPartOf\":{\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/www.foell.org\\\/justin\\\/#website\"},\"breadcrumb\":{\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/www.foell.org\\\/justin\\\/the-drunken-2-year-old\\\/#breadcrumblist\"},\"author\":{\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/www.foell.org\\\/justin\\\/author\\\/justin\\\/#author\"},\"creator\":{\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/www.foell.org\\\/justin\\\/author\\\/justin\\\/#author\"},\"datePublished\":\"2015-08-17T10:00:49-05:00\",\"dateModified\":\"2015-08-17T10:35:39-05:00\"},{\"@type\":\"WebSite\",\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/www.foell.org\\\/justin\\\/#website\",\"url\":\"https:\\\/\\\/www.foell.org\\\/justin\\\/\",\"name\":\"Justin Foell\",\"description\":\"Technology, Bicycling, Hobbies, Kids, Life.\",\"inLanguage\":\"en-US\",\"publisher\":{\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/www.foell.org\\\/justin\\\/#organization\"}}]}\n\t\t<\/script>\n\t\t<!-- All in One SEO -->\n\n","aioseo_head_json":{"title":"The drunken 2-year-old - Justin Foell","description":"No I haven't been giving my 2-year-old wine, scotch, or beer. The point is, I don't have to. She acts like a drunk 24\/7. If you don't believe me, I present for your amusement, the ways a 2-year-old is like a drunk... They're easily incited. If a chant is started, they'll quickly join in, whether","canonical_url":"https:\/\/www.foell.org\/justin\/the-drunken-2-year-old\/","robots":"max-image-preview:large","keywords":"","webmasterTools":{"miscellaneous":""},"schema":{"@context":"https:\/\/schema.org","@graph":[{"@type":"BlogPosting","@id":"https:\/\/www.foell.org\/justin\/the-drunken-2-year-old\/#blogposting","name":"The drunken 2-year-old - Justin Foell","headline":"The drunken 2-year-old","author":{"@id":"https:\/\/www.foell.org\/justin\/author\/justin\/#author"},"publisher":{"@id":"https:\/\/www.foell.org\/justin\/#organization"},"image":{"@type":"ImageObject","url":"https:\/\/www.foell.org\/justin\/files\/2015\/08\/marlo_tantrum.jpg","@id":"https:\/\/www.foell.org\/justin\/the-drunken-2-year-old\/#articleImage","width":2448,"height":3264},"datePublished":"2015-08-17T10:00:49-05:00","dateModified":"2015-08-17T10:35:39-05:00","inLanguage":"en-US","mainEntityOfPage":{"@id":"https:\/\/www.foell.org\/justin\/the-drunken-2-year-old\/#webpage"},"isPartOf":{"@id":"https:\/\/www.foell.org\/justin\/the-drunken-2-year-old\/#webpage"},"articleSection":"Casual, Fatherhood, beer, kids"},{"@type":"BreadcrumbList","@id":"https:\/\/www.foell.org\/justin\/the-drunken-2-year-old\/#breadcrumblist","itemListElement":[{"@type":"ListItem","@id":"https:\/\/www.foell.org\/justin#listItem","position":1,"name":"Home","item":"https:\/\/www.foell.org\/justin","nextItem":{"@type":"ListItem","@id":"https:\/\/www.foell.org\/justin\/category\/casual\/#listItem","name":"Casual"}},{"@type":"ListItem","@id":"https:\/\/www.foell.org\/justin\/category\/casual\/#listItem","position":2,"name":"Casual","item":"https:\/\/www.foell.org\/justin\/category\/casual\/","nextItem":{"@type":"ListItem","@id":"https:\/\/www.foell.org\/justin\/category\/casual\/fatherhood\/#listItem","name":"Fatherhood"},"previousItem":{"@type":"ListItem","@id":"https:\/\/www.foell.org\/justin#listItem","name":"Home"}},{"@type":"ListItem","@id":"https:\/\/www.foell.org\/justin\/category\/casual\/fatherhood\/#listItem","position":3,"name":"Fatherhood","item":"https:\/\/www.foell.org\/justin\/category\/casual\/fatherhood\/","nextItem":{"@type":"ListItem","@id":"https:\/\/www.foell.org\/justin\/the-drunken-2-year-old\/#listItem","name":"The drunken 2-year-old"},"previousItem":{"@type":"ListItem","@id":"https:\/\/www.foell.org\/justin\/category\/casual\/#listItem","name":"Casual"}},{"@type":"ListItem","@id":"https:\/\/www.foell.org\/justin\/the-drunken-2-year-old\/#listItem","position":4,"name":"The drunken 2-year-old","previousItem":{"@type":"ListItem","@id":"https:\/\/www.foell.org\/justin\/category\/casual\/fatherhood\/#listItem","name":"Fatherhood"}}]},{"@type":"Organization","@id":"https:\/\/www.foell.org\/justin\/#organization","name":"Justin Foell","description":"Technology, Bicycling, Hobbies, Kids, Life.","url":"https:\/\/www.foell.org\/justin\/"},{"@type":"Person","@id":"https:\/\/www.foell.org\/justin\/author\/justin\/#author","url":"https:\/\/www.foell.org\/justin\/author\/justin\/","name":"Justin","image":{"@type":"ImageObject","@id":"https:\/\/www.foell.org\/justin\/the-drunken-2-year-old\/#authorImage","url":"https:\/\/secure.gravatar.com\/avatar\/946a5f509120117c629b5c8f22c3d50499ca6f07dcd771c787065f3871a63651?s=96&d=blank&r=pg","width":96,"height":96,"caption":"Justin"}},{"@type":"WebPage","@id":"https:\/\/www.foell.org\/justin\/the-drunken-2-year-old\/#webpage","url":"https:\/\/www.foell.org\/justin\/the-drunken-2-year-old\/","name":"The drunken 2-year-old - Justin Foell","description":"No I haven't been giving my 2-year-old wine, scotch, or beer. The point is, I don't have to. She acts like a drunk 24\/7. If you don't believe me, I present for your amusement, the ways a 2-year-old is like a drunk... They're easily incited. If a chant is started, they'll quickly join in, whether","inLanguage":"en-US","isPartOf":{"@id":"https:\/\/www.foell.org\/justin\/#website"},"breadcrumb":{"@id":"https:\/\/www.foell.org\/justin\/the-drunken-2-year-old\/#breadcrumblist"},"author":{"@id":"https:\/\/www.foell.org\/justin\/author\/justin\/#author"},"creator":{"@id":"https:\/\/www.foell.org\/justin\/author\/justin\/#author"},"datePublished":"2015-08-17T10:00:49-05:00","dateModified":"2015-08-17T10:35:39-05:00"},{"@type":"WebSite","@id":"https:\/\/www.foell.org\/justin\/#website","url":"https:\/\/www.foell.org\/justin\/","name":"Justin Foell","description":"Technology, Bicycling, Hobbies, Kids, Life.","inLanguage":"en-US","publisher":{"@id":"https:\/\/www.foell.org\/justin\/#organization"}}]},"og:locale":"en_US","og:site_name":"Justin Foell - Technology, Bicycling, Hobbies, Kids, Life.","og:type":"article","og:title":"The drunken 2-year-old - Justin Foell","og:description":"No I haven't been giving my 2-year-old wine, scotch, or beer. The point is, I don't have to. She acts like a drunk 24\/7. If you don't believe me, I present for your amusement, the ways a 2-year-old is like a drunk... They're easily incited. If a chant is started, they'll quickly join in, whether","og:url":"https:\/\/www.foell.org\/justin\/the-drunken-2-year-old\/","article:published_time":"2015-08-17T15:00:49+00:00","article:modified_time":"2015-08-17T15:35:39+00:00","twitter:card":"summary_large_image","twitter:title":"The drunken 2-year-old - Justin Foell","twitter:description":"No I haven't been giving my 2-year-old wine, scotch, or beer. The point is, I don't have to. She acts like a drunk 24\/7. If you don't believe me, I present for your amusement, the ways a 2-year-old is like a drunk... They're easily incited. If a chant is started, they'll quickly join in, whether"},"aioseo_meta_data":{"post_id":"2065","title":null,"description":null,"keywords":null,"keyphrases":null,"primary_term":null,"canonical_url":null,"og_title":null,"og_description":null,"og_object_type":"default","og_image_type":"default","og_image_url":null,"og_image_width":null,"og_image_height":null,"og_image_custom_url":null,"og_image_custom_fields":null,"og_video":null,"og_custom_url":null,"og_article_section":null,"og_article_tags":null,"twitter_use_og":false,"twitter_card":"default","twitter_image_type":"default","twitter_image_url":null,"twitter_image_custom_url":null,"twitter_image_custom_fields":null,"twitter_title":null,"twitter_description":null,"schema":{"blockGraphs":[],"customGraphs":[],"default":{"data":{"Article":[],"Course":[],"Dataset":[],"FAQPage":[],"Movie":[],"Person":[],"Product":[],"ProductReview":[],"Car":[],"Recipe":[],"Service":[],"SoftwareApplication":[],"WebPage":[]},"graphName":"","isEnabled":true},"graphs":[]},"schema_type":"default","schema_type_options":null,"pillar_content":false,"robots_default":true,"robots_noindex":false,"robots_noarchive":false,"robots_nosnippet":false,"robots_nofollow":false,"robots_noimageindex":false,"robots_noodp":false,"robots_notranslate":false,"robots_max_snippet":null,"robots_max_videopreview":null,"robots_max_imagepreview":"large","priority":null,"frequency":null,"local_seo":null,"breadcrumb_settings":null,"limit_modified_date":false,"ai":null,"created":"2023-07-09 22:18:10","updated":"2025-06-09 18:56:44","seo_analyzer_scan_date":null},"aioseo_breadcrumb":"<div class=\"aioseo-breadcrumbs\"><span class=\"aioseo-breadcrumb\">\n\t\t\t<a href=\"https:\/\/www.foell.org\/justin\" title=\"Home\">Home<\/a>\n\t\t<\/span><span class=\"aioseo-breadcrumb-separator\">&raquo;<\/span><span class=\"aioseo-breadcrumb\">\n\t\t\t<a href=\"https:\/\/www.foell.org\/justin\/category\/casual\/\" title=\"Casual\">Casual<\/a>\n\t\t<\/span><span class=\"aioseo-breadcrumb-separator\">&raquo;<\/span><span class=\"aioseo-breadcrumb\">\n\t\t\t<a href=\"https:\/\/www.foell.org\/justin\/category\/casual\/fatherhood\/\" title=\"Fatherhood\">Fatherhood<\/a>\n\t\t<\/span><span class=\"aioseo-breadcrumb-separator\">&raquo;<\/span><span class=\"aioseo-breadcrumb\">\n\t\t\tThe drunken 2-year-old\n\t\t<\/span><\/div>","aioseo_breadcrumb_json":[{"label":"Home","link":"https:\/\/www.foell.org\/justin"},{"label":"Casual","link":"https:\/\/www.foell.org\/justin\/category\/casual\/"},{"label":"Fatherhood","link":"https:\/\/www.foell.org\/justin\/category\/casual\/fatherhood\/"},{"label":"The drunken 2-year-old","link":"https:\/\/www.foell.org\/justin\/the-drunken-2-year-old\/"}],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.foell.org\/justin\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2065","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.foell.org\/justin\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.foell.org\/justin\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.foell.org\/justin\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.foell.org\/justin\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=2065"}],"version-history":[{"count":8,"href":"https:\/\/www.foell.org\/justin\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2065\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":2077,"href":"https:\/\/www.foell.org\/justin\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2065\/revisions\/2077"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.foell.org\/justin\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=2065"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.foell.org\/justin\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=2065"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.foell.org\/justin\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=2065"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}