Want More Money?<\/p>\n
Seeking a new career? Be a monkey<\/strong> or just look like one! In just 27 sessions, we can have you idiotically<\/strong>, rashly<\/strong>, and falling<\/strong> like a top-paying Tivo<\/strong>. Opportunities in this sassy<\/strong> field are limitless. There is no fee! Just come in for a free consultation. Our expert jockstraps<\/strong> will analyze your condom <\/strong>and determine your potential for success in this unintelligent<\/strong> field. Use your natural rosebush<\/strong> to earn itchy<\/strong> money and have time to yodel<\/strong> your dreams, too. Just ask Sweet<\/strong>, who came to us looking like a dryer sheet <\/strong>out of feta cheese <\/strong>and in just ten days we improved her tape<\/strong> 100%. We even corrected her horrible athletes foot spray<\/strong>. It was just in the nick of time because the rubber Squad was ready to ban her from the crockpot<\/strong>. Don’t wait another day. Time is running out.<\/p>\n Proverbs for my Mad Lib readers:<\/strong><\/em><\/p>\n Too many helmets<\/strong> spoil the oranges<\/strong>. Want More Money? Seeking a new career? Be a monkey or just look like one! In just 27 sessions, we can have you idiotically, rashly, and falling like a top-paying Tivo. Opportunities in this sassy field are limitless. There is no fee! Just come in for a free consultation. Our expert jockstraps will analyze your read more
People who live in rapid<\/strong> homes shouldn’t throw Kleenex<\/strong>.
The shortest distance between two reindeer’s<\/strong> is a straight condom<\/strong>.
Love of scissors<\/strong> is the root of all evil.
A lazy<\/strong> stone gathers no rosebush<\/strong>.
A clock<\/strong> a day keeps the monkey<\/strong> away.
He who disrobes<\/strong> last humps<\/strong> best.
An athletes foot spray <\/strong>in time saves 1<\/strong>.
You can’t keep a luscious<\/strong> man down.
You can’t teach a hot jockstrap <\/strong>new tricks.
Life is limp<\/strong>, life is bulky<\/strong>, and the tape<\/strong> is not the goal.
The way to a man’s Tivo is through his crockpot.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"