{"id":307,"date":"2009-12-23T15:14:00","date_gmt":"2009-12-23T15:14:00","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/justinfoell.wordpress.com\/2009\/12\/23\/happy-festivus-for-the-rest-of-us"},"modified":"2009-12-23T15:14:00","modified_gmt":"2009-12-23T15:14:00","slug":"happy-festivus-for-the-rest-of-us","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.foell.org\/jessi\/2009\/12\/happy-festivus-for-the-rest-of-us\/","title":{"rendered":"Happy Festivus for the Rest of Us"},"content":{"rendered":"

Today, December 23rd is Festivus<\/a>. Let’s celebrate, shall we? <\/p>\n

Over in the corner is my aluminum pole (no tinsel or any decorations of course). Average and plain, isn’t it? <\/p>\n

Ok, be done looking at the pole. <\/p>\n

Let’s move on to “Airing of Grievances.”<\/p>\n

Oh boy, do I have some issues this year. And you people are gonna hear about them. In no particular order:
Who cares about the following<\/span>:
Tiger Woods, Oprah retiring, Jon & Kate, People who do nothing yet are famous somehow. <\/p>\n

Car seats that are safe, yet HUGE<\/span>! I need a new car to fit this thing, and it’s only going to get bigger. Thanks safety for making me sit so close to the steering wheel that, while my kid is safe, I’m not! Jerk. <\/p>\n

Verizon Wireless<\/span>. While you work EVERYWHERE else in the world, you don’t work in my cul-de-sac. Seriously? What’s that all about? Why am I paying x dollars when I can’t even use my phone at home. I’d like a refund for the past YEAR, please. <\/p>\n

Ok, now it’s time for the “Feats of Strength” but I don’t want to embarrass anyone, so we’ll skip it this year. But, next year, just you wait. Better watch your back. <\/p>\n

And finally, “Festivus Miracles!” A friend said she made caramels. I was going to stop by her office to get one. But she stopped by MY office and brought me one. It was a Festivus Miracle!<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Today, December 23rd is Festivus. Let’s celebrate, shall we? Over in the corner is my aluminum pole (no tinsel or any decorations of course). Average and plain, isn’t it? Ok, be done looking at the pole. Let’s move on to “Airing of Grievances.” Oh boy, do I have some issues this year. And you people read more »<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"om_disable_all_campaigns":false,"_monsterinsights_skip_tracking":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_active":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_note":"","_monsterinsights_sitenote_category":0,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_feature_clip_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":false,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2},"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-307","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-uncategorized","author-jessi"],"aioseo_notices":[],"aioseo_head":"\n\t\t\n\t\n\t\n\t\n\t\n\t\n\t\t\n\t\t\n\t\t\n\t\t\n\t\t\n\t\t\n\t\t\n\t\t\n\t\t\n\t\t\n\t\t\n\t\t