In Texas, everything is bigger. In Las Vegas, everything is bigger but with chrome. We have a lot of high rollers here. Some are real and some are pretending. If they are good at pretending, then you’d never know they were faking. Unless the car gives it away. One very common car that gives it away the Taurus. This would be a normal, family sedan but somehow it has become a pimped out vehicle. Dark tint, lots of chrome and many dents. That is the common pretend ‘high roller’ car here in Vegas.
But remember those high rollers I told you about–the real ones. They drive things like Mercedes, Lotus’ and Hummers. A Mercedes, fine, it’s a nice brand of vehicle if you take care of them. Keep them clean and looking as expensive as possible. The Lotus, I only brought that up because my friend Aaron has one. You’d think it’s a clown car by looking at it. It’s very small–it’s a wee one. You’d think for so much money you’d get something bigger, but in this case no, wee.
On the other hand, the Hummer started off big and 3 models later, they are still big. I guess the H3 is a little smaller than my house, but they are selling it as “baby bears” size from the Goldie Locks story. Oh, cute it was just right.
I recently witnessed the Hummer (original) try to act like it’s little sister, the H3. I pulled into the drive-thru at the local coffee shop and she pulled in behind me. Not a big deal except she blocked the whole driveway for the other parked people to get out. Number 1. Number 2, I don’t think she could see me in my little WRX because she kept creaping when I wasn’t even moving. Number 3, when the drive-thru line turned to head to the window, she couldn’t make the turn AT ALL. She curbed it.
Now I’ve owned a jeep before and I would purposely curb it, but my turning radius was much better than any Geo or Kia ever made. So it was more fun for me. But this woman had to do it. I almost wished that she just scraped the side of her Hummer because she was on the phone too. If she can afford to talk on the phone and drive such a beast in a drive-thru made for cars like mine and order starbucks with 3 splenda’s, then she can afford a few scratches.
So all you high rollers, fake or not, clown cars or monster beasts, please watch out for us non-high rollers. We don’t want to have to sue you.
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